My Pyschiatrist has always told me that ‘Depression is a treatable illness’. I never believed him but I am proof that it is treatable and curable. I didn’t seek help early enough though. I was in denial that I was ill and depressed. I felt a need to keep going, keep working, keep earning money, keep paying the bills, keep on and on. I didn’t dare stop. I didn’t dare admit to anyone - my friends, family, work colleagues or to myself - that I was ill. I was scared of looking weak, scared of losing my job, scared of losing my house!
I would rather have died than admit any of those things. I used to call my husband every night on my way home from work and say that I wanted to throw myself under a bus. I used to go home to my husband on a Friday evening and go to my bed until Monday morning when I would get up again just to start my whole working week over again. This went on for a year. Even when my husband finally got me to see a doctor and I was diagnosed as physically and mentally depressed and a recommended stay in a clinic, I checked myself out after two weeks and went back to work. Finally I totally collapsed 6 months later.
A Little Bit About My Background
I didn’t know what Depression was when I started to feel unwell in 1998. I knew it was a mental illness but I thought I was stronger than that and could fight it alone.
My lack of understanding of the illness and my unwillingness to accept, led to the illness becoming almost fatal. Had I had a better understanding and acceptance of the illness, maybe I wouldn’t have reached the point of attempting suicide, long periods in hospital and eventually being sectioned in an NHS hospital for a term.
My aim of this website is to try to raise awareness of Depression and Mental Illness and to provide informative and interactive help and support for sufferers, carers, or people affected or interested by Depression from their homes 24 hours a day. The small hours of the morning can be the loneliest when the whole world seems to be sleeping except you. I am sure that you will find other restless souls on the chat forum whatever time you are awake especially as people in Australia are also using the site!
My book is about getting a serious message across and to explain Depression with humour and help those suffering from Depression smile in the face of adversity. Depression is not fun but looking back , my Depression has been like a comedy, albeit a very black one. If I can do that and help just one person, I have done what I wanted to do. Any more will be a bonus.
I have had the support for my book from a number of well known people. Lulu Guinness, the Designer, a fellow Depression sufferer, is responsible for several quotes in the book. Dr Gillian Mckeith shared with me important information about the link between Depression and the liver and Marisa Peer, whose book ‘You Can be Thin’ has written the foreword.
The book is a quick read. Depressed people often cannot concentrate enough to read, hence the colour glossy pictures.
I am not claiming to be any kind of medical professional. I just care about the thousands of people who are suffering from this terrible illness and hope to share a bit of hope either through a smile at the humour in my book, or through sharing their experiences with others on the website or by having a professional therapist answer their fears or questions or just by letting them know that they are not alone.
My sincerest wishes go out to everyone, whatever your story and I wish you all the very best. In the words of a famous cosmetic giant - ‘You’re worth it’.
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