Depression Forum

New to this - could use some advice

2009-07-29T09:21:56Z

Hello there
My partner was diagnosed with depression a couple of months ago. His father had an accident earlier in the year which resulted in head injuries (he is in a neurology ward and we don’t know if he’ll go home or to residential care yet, could be months, maybe a year or 2 till we know). He was also very busy at work. In the end one of his mates and I managed to persuade him to see the doctor, they diagnosed him with depression, started him on anti-depressants and advised him to see a counsellor. We arrange our own counsellor but its been a bit irregular in terms of seeing them. After another ‘down’ we went back to the doctor who upped the meds and got an appointment with the NHS mental health people.
I am trying to be there and be supportive. He has just quit his job and is now talking about drastic action to clear debts. I’m trying to to scream and cry, but I don’t know what to do any more. I’m not sure he listens to me when i try to reassure him, I don’t think he believes me when i say its the depression speaking, i’m not sure he’s taking on board anything that the counsellor people are telling him. If i ask him to go and see them at the moment he won’t.
I don’t believe i am the only person trying to help someone deal with depression, but i’m scared i’m going to lose him and i’m scared of what the future brings. He’s the main earner, if he isn’t working then he’ll feel worse - he will feel worthless and useless.
Am I worrying too much? Does anyone have any tips or advice? I feel a bit like everything is falling apart.
Thanks

Books for Carers - Can anybody recommend any Helpful Books for Carers?

2010-01-20T09:21:45Z

I have found a few here, Can anybody recommend a book Xx

Caring for Someone with Depression - By Tony Battison

Past Caring - By Audrey Jenkinson

How you can Survive when they’re depressed, Living and coping with depression Fallout - By Anne Sheffield

50 things you can do today to beat Depression - By Paul Vincent

Living with Depression How to Cope when your partner is depressed (previously called living with the black dog) - By Caroline Carr

Living with the Black Dog - By Matthew Johnstone

Taming the Black Dog How to Beat Depression A practical Manual for suffers their relatives and colleagues - By Patrick Ellverton

I had a Black Dog - By Matthew Johnstone

SOD IT The depression virus and how to deal with it - By Martin Davies

Living with the black dog: How to cope when your partner is depressed - By Caroline Carr, Richard Craze and Roni Jay

What am i Supposed to do?

2010-02-08T22:26:37Z

My SO is depressed at the moment, and it is begining to drive me insane. She complains, she bitches, she has some massive mood swings and it is really beginning to take its toll on me. The thing that really annoys me is after I have annoyed her over some imaginary slight (For instance, I got kicked from a chat due to a connection error - she thinks that I left her and could be bothered talking) before I have time to explain, she will sign out of whatever instant messenger we happen to be using, and ignore me.

In the past I have tried harassing her to talk to me, leaving her a little to cool down and leaving her a little and then harassing her some, nothing I do seems to be the right thing to do. What am I supposed to do when she is ignoring me, because she is angry at me for no reason?

I take solice that this wont be forever, and that this isnt the person I fell in love with. She is getting help, and her depression was caused by a single incident last year (a sudden death of an immediate family member), and this is the first time she has suffered from major depression so is likely not going to be something lasting for years or decades, but it doesnt help much. Sometimes I feel like screaming at her, but I know that wont help any. Its just getting to be to much.

Has anybody received support from a support group for carers ?

2010-01-22T09:35:45Z

Has anybody received support from a support group and would like to give us some feedback XxThank you Xx

I am new here…

2010-03-25T05:13:48Z

I am a volunteer worker at a home for abused street girls here in Manila. It seems I found the site I am looking for which can help me learn to understand the young girls who have been traumatized by their experiences so that I can help them out of their depression. I intend to come here more often.
Raymond

Lonely

2008-10-09T21:17:00Z

Being a carer is a very lonely experience. Anyone else out there?

need a bit of advice please.

2010-01-22T13:38:22Z

Hi, need some advice please. My husband has diagnosed with depression. he is on alot of pills olanzapine, trazadone, diazapan, he is also off work and attending cbt and other stuff 4 days a week. we hae only been married 6 months and have 5 kids. I’m finding life very hard and dont know how to cope. He is very critical, blames me for alot of things and cries often. I love him very much but it is getting very hard. He goes out or spends most of his time alone in his room. I feel like my husband has died and all that is left is a smoking miserable man who makes me cry and blames me or the kids for how he feels. This all sounds very selfish of me cos i know hes very poorly. He doesnt like me to text or call friends as it makes him paranoid so i feel very lonely. I only get a break at work as i work for two hours a day in a school. Can anyone please give me some advice?

Depression Fallout

2008-10-09T21:36:26Z

The shadow of serious mental illness is cast upon parents, siblings, spouses and children. My husband calls it the ripple effect.

Can anyone give me some advice?

2009-04-09T10:59:38Z

HI
Here I am again in my husbands next bout of depression. I just dont know what to do anymore. To give you a background, my husband became depressed on our honeymoon - his mum had just had a masectomy and he we came back from our honeymoon and went into a mild depression. I thought it was a low mood considering what was happening and we managed to get through it. I became pregnant with my first child who was then diagnosed with cancer at 4 weeks old. At this point my husbands mum was terminally ill in the hospice, his dad had kidney cancer and was in the same hospital as we were. Thankfully our son is had an op and was given an all clear however, my husbands mum died 6 weeks later and his dad died 5 months later.

My husband slipped into a deep depression - which I could understand at the time and did everything I could to help him through it. We went onto have 3 children in the end and love them all dearly.

In between then and now he is had two other incidents of depression and I have supported him through it - going through the sleepless nights, the agression, the needyness.

He is now going into the next depression. Recently he was called into the office at work and told that he needs some training and they want to move him on with his job. This has really knocked him for six. He cannot sleep and all the classic signs of depression are back. He has visited his GP and has now been given anti-depressents.

The problem I think is me. I feel so angry with him. How can he do this again. All that has happened is that he will be getting more training and his company want to invest in him but he just cannot see the positive in it at all. In fact he will probably end up loosing his job because he has so gone to pieces.

I am really worried about the impact this will have on the kids - will they end up being like him - lack of confidence and avoiding new things - i am so trying to push them and improve their confidence but I am getting tired now of trying and being the one holding things together all the time.

Does anyone know if its true if you have been depressed are you always going to have bouts of depression? I really feel like I am letting him down but I just dont know how to continue or how I can help him anymore.

He is still going to work, I dont think he will kill himself but I am now feeling he enjoys being like this…..

what to do?

2009-01-20T05:51:10Z

My 21 year old daughter has had a long history of depression and she is now home from university as she has sunk so low. For the first time, she asked for help from her GP last week and saw a university councillor last week. Her suicidal thoughts have gone away slightly she says.

I am finding it very hard as she says shedoes not want my help and I have 2 other children who have always suffered because I have had to give so much time to L through the years and they are now very angry etc which is not helping the situation. I am OK but still have to go to work etc with worry of leaving her at home but she says that she does not want me at home.

I would welcome any support from forum users on how I can help my daughter but also help my other 2 children through this bad period.

Thank you