Depression Forum

Relapse - why again?

2009-09-05T10:57:30+00:00

Hi there,

It’s my first time here, and I would like to share my journey and my brief story with you all, hoping for support and inspiration.

I had my first major depression in 2006. It was pretty scary as I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t see etc… I didn’t know what was going on till I rang my best friend and told her that I am ready to die, because it is just not worth living like this. My usual self was positive, fun and driven. Luckily that she came to get me from my home, and then took me to see the doctors etc. It took me nearly a year to recover from that. I had gave up work, my postgraduate study and pretty much all what I was doing before in order to get better.

I thought I was all better, so I started working in 2007. However, it only lasted for a month as I just couldn’t cope with it anymore. Relapse - I was devastated. Luckily that my parents helped me to get through this. Yes, it took me another year to get back into the real world.

2008 was a good year for me. I worked pretty much the whole year, and I met an amazing guy. Early 2009, I took up a new job in a new city and was declared by my doctor - ALL GOOD TO GO! I was so happy to hear that, and also came off the medication as I felt I could do this on my own now. However, the good days didn’t last that long, by May this year, I knew that I was getting sick again. I became very moody, not interested in anything, couldn’t face noise, couldn’t cope work, crying a lot, couldn’t get out of the bed, anxious and worried all the time etc… it just got worse and worse. Finally I had to tell my family, because I just couldn’t go on like this anymore.

I had to stop working again, I have to pretty much stopped all what I was doing before due to the relapse AGAIN. I feel SO hopeless and disappointed yet again. Will I ever be ready to get back into the real world again? Why is RELAPSE happening again? What’s quality of life as I am just exhausted by this? I know that I have been here before, and I got better after a while, but I just hate having the RELAPSE - IT MESSES MY LIFE. It is so dark and lonely where I am at the moment. It feels that everyone’s got leave me in the end, because of my non-stop Depression. Actually I feel that I have left myself long time ago :-0

Hope you are all well out there. Love to hear from you sometimes, so I could be stronger and less scared of my journey with Depression.

Thank you for listening.

LOL

I think the only time…

2010-07-25T11:34:52+00:00

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I want to work but dotn know if I can

2009-10-16T11:36:26+00:00

Hello,
Ive been depressed for about a year now and have told my GP and she has manged to get me an assment for concelling, but she has warned me thats its going to be a long wait.
Alot has happened to me and I had a break down last christmas while living in scotland with my boyfriend (now my finace) and his mum. Im now back home and did find a job to come back to but they didnt understand my depression and it got worse which is when i went to the doctors and quit the job.
Im now thinking of getting back to work for finacal reasons but im really scared of going back to work as im not sure if I would be good enough. Im going to try part time for a while first before i take on a full time role.
My mum keeps going on at me that I need a job and I keep saying im doing everything I can and I know I need one. I get so cross and upset with her at times as she doesnt listen to me and says she understands when she doesnt.
Im so confused about what to do now and even if I can cope.

Copied from AOL the internet today - How to feel Wonderful Xx

2010-07-19T09:02:03+00:00

Pretty much everyone feels happier when the sun shines; our world seems to open up and feel free. We start to feel really happy and carefree.

Here’s how you can make that feel good factor last, even when the clouds come.

Be more self confident
“This is what confident people do” says life coach Katie Gibbs of My Mind Matters, a specialist in helping people experience the world in a more positive way by changing their thinking.

“They accept that all sorts of outcomes and consequences can come from any particular situation. And they’re certain that they can cope, irrespective of what happens.”

Quieten the brain drain
Our internal chatter often says negative things to us, putting us down and making us feel unworthy. How wonderful it is to quieten those energy-sapping voices and give the real us space to breathe.

Different ways work for different people, and Katie suggests these:

1. Place the tip of your tongue firmly against the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth. Internal dialogue is accompanied by tiny micro-muscle movements of the tongue and larynx. When these movements are restricted the internal voice tends to reduce.

2. With a gentle, patient attitude mentally say to yourself: “Shhhh…... Shhhh”, as you would soothing a baby. Allow yourself to smile on the inside and really feel a sense of patience with the voice.

3. Mentally find your inner volume control - it usually appears in your mind as a dial or a slider, says Katie. If you can’t find one, just imagine one. Now turn the volume control up and hear the talking get louder. Turn it down and hear it get quieter. Then turn it all the way off.Let go of control
When you relinquish control over situations a tremendous burden is lifted and you start to feel a certain peace, as if you’re flowing with life rather than somehow always fighting against it.

According to Katie, you can start to let go of control by:

1. Approaching situations through the eyes of a child. Every situation is a new beginning; anything can happen. Start to get curious about what might happen rather than worried. Start to get excited about the opportunities.
2. Focus on other people rather than yourself. Have a genuine interest and inquisitive mind with others. Ask questions - people love talking about themselves.
3. Enter every new experience with the intention of enjoying yourself or learning something about yourself.

Free your mind
Give your mind a regular detox. Dump anything in your head that really upsets you, irritates or saddens you on to paper. “Get honest with yourself and let your mind pour out everything” says Katie.

“No matter if doesn’t feel right or unrealistic, now rewrite the opposite thoughts and feelings on a clean fresh piece of paper. Then tear up or burn the negative sheet and destroy all that negative energy.”

Afterwards, you’re likely to feel relieved, lighter and even happy. Like you’ve let go of something that was holding you back. Try it and see.

Give yourself credit
Sometimes we all feel like we have a mountain to climb – there’s so much to do, so much to achieve. The moment you take any action - no matter how small - towards climbing that mountain, pat yourself on the back – literally, if you like.

Don’t wait until the entire to-do list is complete before allowing yourself some degree of satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.

The key to any positive, healthy change in your life is awareness. The minute you start looking for and noticing the bad habits – like constantly judging yourself or pushing yourself to do better without congratulating yourself – is the minute you can start doing something about them. To take steps towards the life you truly want.

So, if you don’t feel wonderful often enough, ask yourself why? And listen out for the answers. Each one is a potential stepping stone to happiness.

What am i Supposed to do?

2010-02-08T22:26:37+00:00

My SO is depressed at the moment, and it is begining to drive me insane. She complains, she bitches, she has some massive mood swings and it is really beginning to take its toll on me. The thing that really annoys me is after I have annoyed her over some imaginary slight (For instance, I got kicked from a chat due to a connection error - she thinks that I left her and could be bothered talking) before I have time to explain, she will sign out of whatever instant messenger we happen to be using, and ignore me.

In the past I have tried harassing her to talk to me, leaving her a little to cool down and leaving her a little and then harassing her some, nothing I do seems to be the right thing to do. What am I supposed to do when she is ignoring me, because she is angry at me for no reason?

I take solice that this wont be forever, and that this isnt the person I fell in love with. She is getting help, and her depression was caused by a single incident last year (a sudden death of an immediate family member), and this is the first time she has suffered from major depression so is likely not going to be something lasting for years or decades, but it doesnt help much. Sometimes I feel like screaming at her, but I know that wont help any. Its just getting to be to much.

I don’t know what to do…

2010-07-07T14:14:08+00:00

I’m new here. Just joined today. Feeling really really low today (have been for a while & having really bad thoughts)
Just don’t know what to do.

Hormones and Depression

2010-03-15T20:49:46+00:00

Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone suffers from or thinks that they may be suffering from hormone related depression. There was a discussion in the past on the site and I would really appreciate anyone sharing their experience and if they’ve found anything that has worked for them that they could pass on? Thanks everyone. I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Helen

Has anybody received support from a support group for carers ?

2010-01-22T09:35:45+00:00

Has anybody received support from a support group and would like to give us some feedback XxThank you Xx

hello

2010-03-23T11:15:02+00:00

hello, hello!i just want to congratulate you for this site, i am glad i found you, there are many interesting post here!
Well done and thanks!

Psychotherapist/Bipolar Specialist/Therapist in Oxfordshire Area

2010-06-25T16:16:08+00:00

Hi everyone, first time user here. I am looking for a therapist for my mother who lives in east Oxfordshire and suffers from bipolar disorder and was most recently manic having been well from 2006 and then ill from September 2009 until January 2010 (so, she was well for just over 3 years) and was hospitalised from November to January.

She is 56 and has experienced 4 manic episodes the first breakdown occurring in 2002. I am not sure if it is acceptable or ethical practice but we would like to some forms of recommendation from previous/current patients or MH professionals to help inform our decision in choosing a therapist with expertise, experience and success in bipolar therapy.

If possible we would like some information about approaches and methodologies to best inform our decision. This therapy would be principally individual and it would be good if it involved some form of homework or means of cultivating the methods covered during the therapy sessions.

I am unsure of normal practice but if there was the possibility of attending via a G.P./NHS referral that would also help given the relationship between manic episodes and debt.

Any suggestions/recommendations of therapists in the Oxfordshire/Berkshire/Buckinghamshire/Hertfordshire area would be gratefully received, and if it is helpful, I will just leave some extra information about what we are looking for specifically:

We hope to find a specialist in bipolar disorder whose therapy in conjunction with her medication compliance can enable her to manage her condition more effectively and stay well long-term through prevention of future relapses.
She received 6 weeks of cognitive behaviour therapy prior to her last breakdown and has recently been looking into homeopathy as a form of treatment to be applied in conjunction with her medication (Depakote) but she also acknowledges that she needs additional therapy.

This therapy should be aimed increasing her coping skills and education about her disorder, both contemporary and in relation to her past experiences and manic episodes, in order to learn to restore and maintain personal and social daily routines to stabilize body rhythms and better predict her own fluctuations in mood. In this way she may be able to avoid experiencing impaired awareness of her illness or anosognosia, and act accordingly in the event that she seems to be becoming elated. Therefore we think her therapy should have a focus on considering and trying to manage environmental or psychological factors that contribute to relapses.

Many thanks for your time and all the best in your endeavours.