I got so frustrated when I couldn’t sleep one night I drove to the beach and was surprised how many other people were sat in their cars on the beach on their own. I felt uncomfortable and drove off , mainly because i was embaraased and did not want anyone to see me i thought the beach would be deserted, later I wondered perhaps they had depression too or insomnia. Yes Bryron Katie worked for me and I could afford the tape. I listened to Eckhart Tolle for a bit and he mentioned looking at a flower living in it that moment stopping to smell it and listen to bird song and enjoy it fill me with glee. I now hug trees and life (seven secrets to success). Sleeping I made myself bath in beautiful memories and I create a dream a really nice dream. I walk beside a beautiful stream which leads to a cottage with a burning log fire and a rocking chair. I sit in the chair and rock myself to sleep. Every time my mind sways I pull it back again to the little log cabin. I also make myself smile, that sort of stops negative thoughts creeping in and if negative thoughts creep in I tell them to go away ( Richard Bandler). My little girl has trouble sleeping and she names it imaginations. So every night I take her for a pony ride. I guess it is the same as reading children a bed time story :0) My husband likes to listen to the radio before he goes to sleep. Don’t laugh we swear by horlicks it gets everybody in this house off to sleep. I hope this draws some ideas out in you because you are intelligent. Also when I was very ill my sister gave me a very large teddy to cuddle she said it helped her. I felt daft at first taking a teddy to bed but it worked. The Japanese take a hot water bottle to relax the gut (mind body nutrition Marc David)Thats were the saying gut feeling comes from. I bought a depressed friend childrens book to help her relax and fill her head with nice thoughts. You know what is best for you, my ideas work for me, yet they might not work on you. I also coat myself in a beatiful golden light, thank the chatter box in my head and focus on a beatiful flower on my forehead and flood my brain with happt thoughts and begin to relax each and every part of me. I tell myself I am enough and smile. Hope this helps :0)

I read your message and thought, oh, gosh, what a lot of ideas you have. And they all sound so positive. I’ll have to go through them and try each one, one at a time (except for the Horlicks - which always brings back a childhood memory of going to the coast, having a very milky, sweet Horlicks and being very sick in the car on the return journey)
I love the idea of the log cabin, sounds so cosy and peaceful - the stream I think of always has daffodils on the banks, so that will be tonight’s trial.
I’ll be away for a few days this week. Do you find it is even more difficult to sleep in hotel beds ?
I’ve ordered the Byron Katie CD from Amazon (thank you for the suggestion of where to buy it).
All you have said seems to bring us back to the point of being able to appreciate what we do have and imagining the rest.
Chloe, a thought passing through my mind at present is that, perhaps we don’t suffer from depression at all - maybe just insomnia.  What do you think ?
Very best wishes, jean

Probably true :0) We no longer act like depressed people. My friend has dreadful depression at the moment she wont let me see her she doesn’t text back. I just text her words of encouragement tell her what a beautiful person she is. Jon Bon Jovi said if you could see yourself like others do you would wish you were as beautiful as you. Bad perception is a killer and people do need to love themselves but saying love yourself makes me think of the horrid people who love themselves so it puts me off loving myself. I looked at myself in the mirror today and smiled back at the face in the mirror. I laughed at my wrinkles which are white inbetween sun tan. My husband says the definition of perfect is imperfect because pefect doesn’t exist and is boring. Lactose is great for a good nights sleep. Warm milk. I eat cheese sandwiches !!! and I heard on radio one that experts say cheese is great for a good night sleep and does not actually cause bad dreams. Nice warm bath Lavendar essential oils Bachs flowers remedies, tiny tiny bit of Lavander oil on the pillow all worked for me in the past now I use my imaginations as my daughter calls it and I call it create a dream. The cheese sandwiches werent helping my waistline. I take on the role now of a non depressed person so I my denial stops me being depressed if that makes sense. Like a self affirmation I am not depressed so I am not depressed. So we are not depressed and we are not depressed because if we were we would not be able to chat like we do :0)

Chloe, many thanks for your comments and ideas.  I think you must be saying that depression must only be able to take over our lives and personalities if we let it.  Regards jean

I think depression is like the flu and a horrid illness. And just like the flu we get better however it can take longer. I sort of like refuse to take on the role of illness to avoid illness if you know what I mean. You are correct in what you say. It a 2 way battle because I am appauled by people who tell people to get a grip ! when they are depressed. I think people need love and respect and kindness to help them. I believe that love respect and kindness should be turned onto ourselves. In that respect we can stop it taking over our lives and personalities. I respected and loved myself, rewarded myself when I had a good day. Reflecting on the good days made me better. I patted myself on the back when I managed the washing up, when I got out of bed, when I got dressed. I stopped reflecting on what I hadn’t done, I reflected on what I had done. Baby steps each day and like a baby beginning to walk I said well done me, there was no rush. I would not let it take over any longer. My self love and respect were my strength that I pulled myself out. I gave myself a mental reward and told myself well done you, instead of beating myself up.  Yes I agree depression can only be over our lives and personalities if we let it. Warmest regards and a big hug Chloe :0)

Thanks for that, Chloe,  you always write such helpful ideas that I’m beginning to wonder if maybe you are a professional counsellor ?
I’ve bought the videos (Making your thoughts work for you) but haven’t watched them yet.
luv j x

I was so very ill I have now become a self help addict. I read anything and everything that can help me and my friends. I am not sure if it is empathy the pain i feel when i hear another persons story it pains me and i need to fix it. Sorry I never answered about hotel beds, yes they are terrible. Probably where the author got the idea of writing princess and the pea. I enjoy receiving your posts you come across as a caring empathetic person who it is always a joy to hear from. hugs chloe x

Hello again, Chloe,
I hope it isn’t too much for you -  but I have suggested that a girl called Kayfer looks at your remedies and recommendations for self help.
Her story is just so heart breaking, I couldn’t think what else to do.  luv j x

Ah that was so lovely. Thank you Xx When i was depressed and work meant i had to sleep in hotels. I would retire to my room and plug myself into a hypnosis CD for confidence and self esteem. As the hypnotist reeled off words of encouragement to have confidence, self love and self esteem, tears would roll down my cheeks as i prayed i would get better. I tried everything to get to sleep and I knew in the morning my collegues would all be waiting in the lobby at 7pm sharp so I needed to sleep and I needed to keep it my little secret I was depressed. I feel the tapes worked and helped me drop off to sleep. However I did wake up with headphones all twisted around me ha ha. I recalled that from my past and needed to share it with you. We are sooooooooo lucky we are all here for eachother. I hope our ideas might inspire new ideas so somebody can think of something to help them too, if mine do not work. Thank you Jean that was so kind you are a beautiful person. Xx and we are a community to help support eachother XXX Social Support ??? perhaps !!

Hello Chloe,
I am so pleased you could help Kayfer,  I can tell already - from reading her posts - that you have helped her enormously- much more that I ever could.  (May I say that I think you are in the wrong job !  On the basis of all the help you have given to us both, you should be seriously thinking of counselling people with depression)
I had to laugh at your tale of the hypnosis CDs,  I had exactly the same experience with the wires.
And also, on one of them, just as I drifted off to sleep (at last!)  the hypnotist woke me up again.
How awful is that !!    j x

Oh jean you made me laugh too about the hypnosis waking you up. Sadly that means you were in hypnosis and not sleep. I know alot about hypnotherapy and I think i heard marissa say on her CD that is the case, I know I heard it somewhere. I got really really ill with depression and was labelled needy and insecure and all sorts. People were cruel to me. I sort help and never looked back from being a self help aholic. I love reading self help. So all my advice is eclectic sourcing lots and lots of therapists. All up there in my head when i die it will be like buring a self help library. Jean we have gone from sad to chatting we have managed to turn everything around by chatting. It’s not my advice it was the care and attention we gave to eachother. Life coach johnathan Jay says one mans solution may not be that of the other however by chatting your own solutions come to the surface. Life coaches encourage clients resolve their own issues with their own ideas of self help and they are the best healers of themselves. We all healed ourselves with eachothers support, we all held eachother up. Would you believe it I needed you to bring out the best in me and when i did I felt better about myself because I could give something back something to you and we all have given to eachother. Helen should be very proud what she has achieved she is an angel. I guess everytime somebody comes on the forum they add to the flock ha ha. We all add to the depressioncanbefun community helping to support eachother. I am glad my years of self help aholism is paying off. I can never stop prevention is better than cure. HUGS XX

Jean have you tried EFT emotional freedom technique. I don’t know if i am allowed to advertise other web pages on the forum this chap has a EFT site to show you where to tap it’s magnus@tapping.com. It is so positively effective Xx Chloe

Hello, Chloe, I tried the web site on my computer but no luck.  Did Kayfer manage it.  j x

“I’m not sure if it’s life i’m trying to hide from or my business or even myself”< I completely understand what you mean. Actually, I don’t really know that there is any point really trying to figure it out cos it’s probably a mix of all of them.

You are right, going back to bed is not the option, you won’t achieve anything from there, and by that I don’t mean anything linked to work/business, I mean in getting yourself better. I accept that this is easier said than done though. I actually think that being in bed is probably the worst place for a person who is depressed/down cos it is the place where you can probably think the most, and recently I wonder if the ability to think (too much) is actually a curse that humans have been given, cos it can so easily become a destructive tool.

I can’t give any amazing advice to cure everything cos unfortunately, from my experience, depression is something that really has to be sorted out by the sufferer (with support of course). All I can say is don’t give up, but also don’t expect things to happen over night. Just little steps/goals.

Anyway, I hope you are OK.

You are so right. I spent 6 months in bed !!!! Just talking about our own experiences I believe spurs on the help and support. My husband said don’t give anybody any advice ’ I said I just tell my friends on the web what I did and what I do I share my experiences’ then they can try it out and see for themselves. One mans rubbish another mans treasure - I know that is the wrong metaphor yet I know you’ll know the proper saying. Your oppinions really do strike a cord they really matter thank you. Yes when a person is ready they are ready to start the healing process. Time does heal and yes you share the same belief - social support has amazing power. Like minded suffers heal eachother through empathy. It’s an amazing process.Plus fresh air and a healthy living to help the brains chemistry along. I guess we have to have good to appreciate the bad. I appreciate my friends on this site for their kind support thank you Xx