I think this is a great site - if nothing else just to chat - and to realise that some people suffer the same and some less and some very much more.

However I’m a little concerned that I seem to have far more posts than anyone else. Now I’m paranoid that I’m a freak and I’m clutching to this site as a comfort thing. Maybe I’m losing the plot - think I’ll cut back a bit just in case and stop being reliant on it to communicate.

Night night all - I may appear again one day!!!

You go ahead and do whatever feels right Steve. If posting on here helps to organise things in your head, or talking to someone else, if it helps even just the tiniest bit, then stick with it. Who cares what anybody else thinks? Thats what this forum is for.

Hi Steve

I don’t think it really matters how many times you write here and if it helps then is ok. I have noticed that you are doing much better than me as you are doing things with your children like the snowman yesterday or the day before yesterday and you don’t get up as late as me. I think that is great you were able to play in the snow with them because that is someting that they will never forget. As for the Sales calls, I understand that they are something that connect you to your work. Could you turn off the telephone sometimes if you are resting? I hope you do not stop writting as I can see how you have improved since you start. It is more difficult for me to write here because I am worry about my spelling, my grammar or if I say the right thing to help somebody, it is difficult to give moral support to somebody when you are not feeling that well. But I do apreciate you writing in my post to encourage me. So you are not doing that bad. I hope everything go onwards and upwards for you if that is possible. All the best Cristal  

Hi Cristal

Don’t ever worry about spelling and grammar. I have beaten myself up for years for what I consider to be my lack of intelligence.

I ended up in an ambulance last night. I could barely breath and brought up some blood. I thought it was maybe a collapsed lung or even liver failure. It turned out to be just a chest infection - well that’s what they think so that’s another two boxes of tablets!

I have slept most of today as I was up all night in an overcrowded A&E;unit.

Feel drained now - may just have to watch the rugby and try to relax.

Hope you’re having a nice day Cristal.

Steve

Hi Steve

I am sorry that you have been in Emergency Saturday; the good thing is that it wasn’t as bad as you thought; Depression makes us feel that we are not good at doing things I feel self conscious about my writing because I am always doing it in Spanish to friends back home or the ones I have made in this country, who also their main language is Spanish.

I read that you have done amazing things helping in charities and climbing, I also help once a week in a church that receives homeless and I visit a 92 years of age lady through Age Concern but I thing the main thing is that we should think about ourselves as well, and look after “number one” It is a pity that you think that you are not intelligent, having built your own company from scratch I think you deserve some credit for that. If people had said to you that you are thick, I think that is bullying and you should not believe it. We all have different capabilities and you said you are good at doing things with your hands, I think that you were doing too many things in your company and probably that create your anxiety also the gloomy atmosphere we are now in does not help . I used to suffer from anxiety but I have sorted out most of the things that created it and now I find difficult to get motivated and to trust that I am capable of doing things and I had had somebody saying to me that I am not good and that was my mother since I was a child. I have answered my own problem trying to see why you do feel worthless. Of course she was not right I was a child then. Taking away what people make you believe about yourself takes a big effort I suppose we should repeat to ourselves “I am worthy” many times until our brain retained as the last true. Too much for today Steve I am going to try to do something positive. All the best for you and everybody who might read this post, Cristal.