Hi my name is Julie , I have joined this site, my depression is bad and I need someone to talk to, my partner knows I am depressed but I feel I can’t talk to him or my family, just need some extra support, I am worried if I talk to my doctor they will want me in hospital and that’s the last thing I want.

Hello Julie, Helen here.  Welcome to the site.  I find that sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than loved ones.  We can say how we really feel without upsetting those who love us by saying something they don’t want to hear.
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling really bad.
I would recommend talking to your doctor but it’s good that you’ve come here to talk and if you like going out to talk to others, there are lots of support groups that can be a good support and social network.  Depression Alliance hold weekly groups in most towns and there are often local support groups in smaller towns and communities that are listed in local libraries, local papers or doctors surgeries.
I found the Depression Alliance groups very helpful when I felt well enough to go out.
Are there things that you enjoy doing or you used to enjoy doing that you could include in your daily routine that would make your day any better at the moment.  Mine is having a cappuccino.  It’s simple and I can manage to do it most days and it makes a huge difference to my day. I find that it’s the little things in life that add up to make things better.  I like Nigella Lawson’s comment that there aren’t enough big things in life to lift you so she focuses on the little things that cumulatively make a difference.  I agree totally.
The sun is supposed to shine this weekend.  Could you get out at some point and get some rays.  The sun always makes one feel better and it’s proven that the vitamin D from the sun lifts mood.  How about a cup of tea outside?!  I don’t mean to sound trite Julie but it’s little things like this that have really made a difference to me and I would love you to feel better too.  Sending you best wishes, Helen

Hello Julie, how are you doing?  I know what you mean about not feeling able or wanting to talk to close family and friends.  I was worried they’d worry about me or worse think that I was crazy.  I rarely go to the doctor and hadn’t been for over 10 years when I went for my depression.  The doctor was lovely and understanding.  My experience is that the NHS are desperate to keep people out of hospital beds as they don’t have the money and someone I know who asked to be taken into hospital was told that they wouldn’t do that.  So please don’t let that put you off going to your doctor.  Unfortunately your doctor probably sees several cases of depression and mental illness a day and therefore be more understanding than you think.  If the first one isn’t, ask to see another who is.  They have counsellors in the surgery often for people to talk to as well.  It really helped me to talk to my doctor Julie.  Thinking of you.  Will