Well Ive done it gone back to work on a phased in basis just mornings this week and as it comes next week. I managed to get there which is a mega bonus. 

God Aprille, that’s brilliant. Well done you.  How are you feeling?  How was it?  Was it better than you expected?  And one more question, how was your holiday in Scarborough?  I love the coast and my kids love the sea and the theme parks.  Will

Hi Will, Scarborough was lovely only 3 bad days in 2 weeks so that is great. Work are being very kind and allowing me to ease myself in slowly. I do feel like a fish out of water but am strong enough to deal with that now. xx

Dear Aprille, how amazing you are?!  I do hope that you are patting yourself on the back and praising yourself for getting back to the office.  However you choose to prasie yourself, whether it be a self-hug, or a new item of clothing, or a meal out or a cappuccino, please make sure you acknowledge what you’ve achieved. That’s great news.  I’m glad that work are being accommodating.  You deserve nothing less.
How are you feeling in yourself?  Are you feeling better on the medication or off it?  I know we were talking about a possible hormonal imbalance.
Anyway we are thinking of you and thank you so much for letting us know Aprille.  I’m also really glad that you had a good holiday.  Take care. Helen

Work more difficult today but I just took a deep breath and took my time. Jobs that took mis before take me hours now. At least I am there. I am not too bad in myself I will say calm not back to normal the illness has triggered my heart complaint so I am back to and from the hosp with that, but I am defeating the worst illness that I have ever suffered. Thanks xx

A dark day today but the first in several weeks so I will keep my chin up and fight on. Support and hope to everyone in this position.

Hi aprille

Please try not to feel too bad about having a “dark day” today.

I went through a period of depression last year and had two months of work. I’m fortunate that my employer was enlightened enough to allow me a phased return over three weeks and this helped me cope with getting back into things. Just after Christmas I had some very dark days indeed but somehow managed to keep going in to the office. Fortunately they passed and I’ve felt OK now since February.
Getting over depression takes a little time and sad though it is there are likely to be the occasional dark day which if you were like me seemed even worse as I feared the depression was coming back. However, please try to remember that as time goes by, the down days do get further and further apart and the recovery time from them gets shorter and shorter.
May I suggest that on one of your better days try and make a list of:
The good things you have done and have accomplished – don’t make the mistake of thinking they have to be spectacular, they just enough to prove that you are OK at your job and genuinely useful – I know you must because no employer has the luxury keeping a member of staff who is can’t “pull their weight.” 
It also my help to add to the list the people you have helped and the people who have cared about you enough to make an effort to help you – this doesn’t have to be restricted to work.
A few happy memories, described in great detail including how good I felt about myself and life in general, also helped me.
If you do have another dark day and if your experience is anything like mine you feel completely useless, a burden to everyone and get a wave of self-loathing – take out the list and read it to prove to yourself in your own words that these feelings are complete nonsense and they will pass. You are the same person who did all the positive things and had those great experiences and there is absolutely no reason why you won’t have good experiences and prove what a valuable person you are again.
I hope this helps a liitle,
All the best,
Karma

Morning Aprille, just wanted to say I hope you have a better day today and the rest of the week gets better still.  Will

Hi Karma, good to hear from you hope life’s treating you good.  I’m heeding your words!  Great advice.  Take care mate.  Will

Thanks for the helpfull replies. It i just so dammed frustrating as I was very good at my job and now feel useless
I just can’t seem to keep up. I will be in the office on my own on saturday and am hoping I can get my head round things while Im on my own. Thanks all you are a lifeline xx

Dear Aprille, I remember that feeling.  Others kept reassuring me that I was just as good at my job as I ever had been but I didn’t feel it.  Ultimately people can say what they like and tell me black is black but unless I believe it or feel it, it doesn’t make us feel any better. 
I did what you’re doing and went in at a quiet time when I knew that no one else or few people would be there to feel more in control and build my confidence by feeling on top of things. Do be careful not to spend too long there and do too much Aprille.  Try to draw the line and leave when you feel you’re feeling ok and don’t drain yourself and end up leaving with a negative feeling.  I hope things are feeling brighter.  You take care.  Helen

Thanks Helen, I am taking my time and I know I will get there so I am not going to beat myself up about it. I am having a problem with my health also at the moment which is pulling me down as I am so tired all the time. I am very luck that I have had the strength to find support from work the docs and this site.
I love your book by the way.
On a positive note I have been writing poetry about my feelings so I have found something new in myself. Thanks again

Dear Aprille, well I hope both get better very soon.  Depression is rubbish and poor health is rubbish.  You’re due for some let up and I hope it’s on it’s way.  Great news re your poetry and thank you for your kind words about the book.  Thinking of you Aprille.  Helen

How you doing Aprille and how did Saturday go catching up at work?  Will