i don’t know why but when i think bout how i feel.. its like a BIG mystery! i just dont know how i feel? .. dont even know why im writing this? was hoping other people can tell me they feel the same? is this a good thing…its frustrattttinnnngggg!

I always remember Tony Robbins telling us that frustration is good and it’s a positive emotion that leads to change.  Enough frustration makes us change to stop being frustrated.  So I note that you’re not using negative words like hopeless and useless which I think is good despite it feeling rubbish right now.
I felt numb a lot of the time and as you say wasn’t in touch and didn’t feel in touch with my feelings at all.  They can come back though.  Maybe our feelings are being used elsewhere to mend our minds or heal them.  I don’t know but hopefully they’ll start coming back to you soon.  It might be worth keeping a diary of your feelings as and when you feel them to see if they increase or decrease, when they increase and decrease and what you are doing when they increase or decrease.  Take care Clinging on.  I hope you’re having an ok weekend.  Obviously I hope you’re having a great one but I don’t want to sound trite when you’re feeling down and frustrated.  Thinking of you.  Helen

Identify the signs of depression so this kind of syndrome can be gettable before it becomes Major Depressive Disorder. So never avoid Symptoms of Depression and stay mentally sound.

ive been feeling frustrated for a while and i can see what you mean but its as if im in a complete rut like everything and everyone is moving on in their lives and im not.. i seen a new counselor today and she said we are going to look into cbt.. and i know i should give it a go.. but i feel as if she has just basically turned round and expected me to get out of this depression.. and to be honest im not feeling good about it :S she asked what my “problems” were and i mentioned some but missed out some .. due to forgetting..but i felt as if she was questioning everything i said.. it felt abit intrusive and i found it hard to open up .. she also asked about the self harm and asked when i last did it and i said on saturday night and she said where and i said on my hip and she said can i have a look/ show me.. and i were like well i cant its covered because i had to go to hospital with it and she then asked if it got steri stripped and what not… just thought she was out of order to ask ... she said at the end of the session if i wanted to see someone else and i said no and i wish i said yes now :\

Dear Clinging on, I used to feel that all my friends were moving on, making money, buying nice things, having nice holidays and I was being left behind and would never ever be able to do those things. I felt useless.  It took a while but I now feel that I have and am moving, I enjoy seeing my friends and not feeling like the poor relation (even though I am compared to what they are earning).  I think it’s all about how we see ourselves.  I’ve learned to tell myself and now know that I am enough and I don’t mind myself now.  I found Marisa Peer very helpful for that.  Her book ‘Ultimate Confidence’ has a hypnosis CD with it about feeling enough and liking ourselves which I used to listen to.
Re your therapist, I’ve never heard of a therapist asking to see self harm, a doctor yes but not a therapist.  If you don’t feel comfortable with her, could you contact her in the meantime and say that you’ve thought about her question and would like to take her up on it and talk to someone else?  Maybe she felt you could benefit more from talking to someone else which is why she asked?  This therapy is all about you, it’s for you, about you, to help you.  If you feel that therapy with the current therapist wouldn’t do that and you only get a set number of sessions, it would be good for you to get someone you feel comfortable with and whom you feel comfortable opening up to who can then help you.
Therapists understand that they can’t get on with everyone.  I am sure she wouldn’t be offended if you ask to change therapist.
Take care and I hope you have a good day.  Helen

Hi Clinging on, I felt nothing about anything or anyone when I was depressed.  Everything was empty and meaningless.  It’s horrible.  It did come back though.  It took some time but it did come back and now I would say that I feel more intensely that I ever did so hang on in there and believe that it will come back.  Take care. Will

thanks for both replies it actually gives me hope!

the hynosis cd sounds like something i should try.. how long does it last for? is there a website to download it from?

and i think i might phone up and ask to see a new one… ive had a good chance to reflect and think and the more i think the more i feel i would be better with a new therapist.. infact ..knowing i am going to change to a new one is actually a sigh of relief.. at the moment i seem to have so much stuff in my head and yet even when i try and stop and pick out each thing/problem i cant?! ..and im woundering if this is depression or due to my tablets?

sometimes i feel as if i go through patches where i think my friends are moving on and have forgotten about me and then other times i feel as if my friends are there… and less paranoid and actually feel abit silly for thinking in that way!

Dear Clinging on, we have podcasts by Marisa Peer on the site for you to listen to on confidence and self esteem and relaxation and the chapter about depression from her audio book ‘Ultimate Confidence’ is on there to listen to as well.  There are lots of other CDs to listen to if you feel like taking a look.  I Otherwise her book with the CD is available from Amazon.  There may be used copies for less money.
I am so pleased you have decided to ask for another therapist.  The fact that you felt such a sense of relief suggests it is the right thing to do for you doesn’t it.
My therapist used to tell me to put aside a certain amount of time per day to worry about things but not to allow myself to dwell on or try to deal with the negative thoughts whenever they came into my head (which was pretty much all the time!).  This makes one feel more in control and helps depression.  It’s easier said than done but it does work for me.
I too felt like friends were doing better than me or moving on without me but like you when I felt better I saw that this was my false and exaggerated thinking.  Really we are all getting on with our own lives whatever pace or road - whether at work or at home, whether happy or sad.  No one stands still.  How we perceive things can punish or help us can’t it.
Hope you have a good day.  The sun’s shining here.  Sun is good for lifting mood.  i do hope you get to soak up its rays even if just for a short time and see if you feel better.  Thinking of you.  Helen

thanks Helen i took a quick listen to the relaxation one.. (i listened to a snipet of the start) and it sounded good! so i am going to try it out before bed and hopefully it will help me! i noticed it but didnt realise what they were.. so im glad you pointed them out to me!

and yes it defo does! .. i am nervous about phoning up but i think i might get my mam to do it because she has been very helpful and positive with me which makes things easier and also my brother has been awesome too… we dont have a good relationship but for the past week he has been the complete opposite its like i have my old brother back! also my sister and dad are being cool too! which helps alot.

yeah you are right about people taking life at their own pace ... i want to get my career back on track… when i say career ... i dont have a majorly amazing job… but i know what i want.. and i just cant seem to get there and this sounds sooooo bad and im embarassed im actually saying it.. but i suppose its best getting it off my chest! but my friend is doing a course which i want to do… and im happy for her but at the same time im annoyed and jelous that it isnt me :\ ... thing is though.. she came across the course by chance and yet… ive been wanting to do it for a few years now.. and it frustrates me… (right im going to shut up before i embarrass myself even more!)

anyways apart from what i said in my other paragraph… i actually feel as if today has been okay!! which im not complaining about lol

I promise I did that too.  I used to be envious and jealous of my friends and didn’t like the fact that I was like that.
I am so glad your brother is seemingly trying to understand you too and you and your family are pulling in the same and right direction.  Long may it continue!
Enjoy the relaxation podcasts and may today be a good day for you too.
Best, Helen

Dear Clinging on, it’s great you’ve made the decision.  I would say it doesn’t matter who calls to cancel the appointment.  I think the easiest option is the best for everyone and if your mum phoning is that then great.  She will probably feel good too that she is able to do sometihing to help because with depression that doesn’t happen very often does it?!  I do hope hope you’ve had a good day and managed to take advantage of the sunshine.  Best wishes, Helen

i tried the podcast clips and listened to some while lying in bed and it actually made a good difference! the thing i like about it most is if something pops in your head which shouldnt be there it tells you not to get annoyed and try to push it out but to just let it stay and “float” and ive noticed that when i dont get furstrated about it .. it just drifts away in its own time which is good.

and i did have a good day thanks i had football training today ... and before i went i felt really down and felt as if i was going to burst into tears at any time… wasnt nice! but i went to training and felt alot better for it… came back and i felt the cloud of depression come and try and have a thunderstorm above me ... but im just trying to ignore it!!

Dear Clinging on, I’m really pleased they helped.  I found and still find them very useful too. Sweet dreams.  Helen

I find exercise very helpful too for keeping my mood up.  Thing is you have to keep doing these things to feel more benefit but I do believe the effect and benefits are cumulative as I keep feeling the benefits for longer the longer and more I do them.  I find listening to the tapes easy to do anytime, any place, anywhere as they say and soothing and calming so I know what you mean.  Here’s to you waking up feeling good after all the good things you’ve done over the last few days.  Helen