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Your Stories About Depression
Anonymity and a lonely life.
Written By:Anony Mouse
Most people would say I come from a privileged background.
I was raised as the youngest son of an RAF officer who served during the war.
My parents were broken people. My mother was a gunner in the war till she broke down.
She lived her life in and out of mental institutions.
My father was aloof and afar as most military men are.
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old.
I left home at the same age as my father only 15 years old.
I lived most of my life comparatively well and was successful in business.
I ended working in a school where I had a breakdown and a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis 8 years ago.
I have come to the point where I find it hard to care for my family and things like my home are slipping away from me.
my six oldest and best friends have all died in the last seven years.
I find it hard to summon the motivation to go out and miss human companionship.
I am told I am creative but my mental health problems stop me from doing anything with it.
Or so I am told.
I masquerade as a mouse on the MS website.
Mr A Mouse
me
Written By:louise
my story begins when i was 12 and just started secondary school i had met a boy called grant (not his real name) and we hit it off well, we began dating.
1st year of dating grant and things became rocky he was 3 years older then me and he had left school we wasnt seeing eachother in person anymore we were just txting and he asks one night.. “fancy meeting up” so i replied saying “yea sure that wud b great!”
so we decided we would meet by the shop outside my house..
we both went for a walk in the woods by this time it was around 7pm on a winters night.
we sat down he starts kissing me. i let him. then he pushes me down and i yell at him to stop and i didnt want to do this anymore and was going home but before i could get up he raped me.
i begged him to stop.
he didnt and when he had done he got up and went leaving me in the woods.. at 14 crying.. i went to my best friends house elize and she asks me wat was the matter as i was still crying so i told her half the story and begged not to tell anyone.
i was so ashamed, so i asked for a shower.
i left elizes house and went home mum asked if i had a nice time i replied yea it was great trying so hard not to cry and went to my room where i sobbed for hours until i fell asleep.
i eventully started bunking off school and turned into a person no body would want in there life i started to cut my wrists trying to make everything better i felt numb inside i took an overdose and ended up in hospital people kept asking why i wud do such a thing i replied i didnt no. i met another boy through school at 14 called knight i didnt want to be alone with him and i had started to vomit after meals becouse i thought i was fat.
15 years old and knight went to a diffrent school so i was boyfriendless again.
then i met lois and she was a good friend she asked if i wanted to go to the cinema with her and her brother edward so i said yes and there we all met and i met edward for the first time.
edward was really nice to me i turned 16 we were still together i had left school and he introduced me to the world of weed (cannabis) and it was good..
then i met up with an old friend called kyle he was into drugs (coke, smack and E) at this point i was happy with weed.
i then began drinking heavily and even tho i had a part time job i still drank every night and cut myself everynight.
and all through mine and edwards realationship i began to meet guys off the internet so i got drunk and said yea lets meet and with every guy i met i had sex with them and the disgaurded me.
then 1 night i went to kyles and he said “oh try abit of this” it was cocaine so i did and i liked it very much!
then 1 night wen i had nobody to go to. i met a guy called mark.
now only do i realize he saved my life..
i met him we had a good time and even tho we had sex on the first date he txted me later that week.
it was edwards birthday party at a local pub and we got drunk and wen we was on the way home he hit me i phoned mark and he kept hitting me and mark came.
and from then on i didnt see edward until a month later wen we got drunk and had sex. a couple of weeks later i find out im pregnant.
so i told mark i didnt have a clue who the father was it could be edwards it could be his he said ok.
so i had the baby (a boy) then my life changed for the better i had moved in with mark and we were happy this was the happyest id ever been and altho i was still cutting it was everynight it was once a month (i came from a background were u trusted no1 and gave nothing) we had a DNA test and the baby turned out to be edwards he now sees his son once a week and edward has changed his life as well. me and mark have a new addition to our family a baby girl and we are realli happy.
altho now i have been told me doctors i have post- natal deppression as our baby girl has been born with a special need. i still love my family but i do have mood swings and i jus wwanted to say no matter how bad the situation u r in theres always someone who will listen to u and wont judge u because somewhere out there someone will have gone through the same as u. i have never gone to the police about the rape i should have done. i have seen grant a couple of months ago and jus seeing him scared me he has a 2 year old. i hope his son never grows to be like him.
the end.
Is there anyone else out there?
Written By:Anonymous
I think I have been unhappy since a child. I have made a complete and utter mess of my life. If one more person tells me ’ I should be grateful to have a job, 2 children and a home’ I don’t think I will be able to contain myself. I absolutely hate my job, but yes, it keeps us, I have my mortgage until I am 63 so I can pay the monthly bills and I do have 2 very beautiful children but I am so lonely I cannot explain how much. For some despicable reason I have been placed on this planet to go it alone and this is the one thing I cannot do. I am an only child and spent my childhood being pushed from pillar to post and never thought I would end like this still. I often feel like taking an overdose, not to actually kill myself, but just so people would understand that I need help. I have been on anti-depressants that made me put on weight and feel like I was waking up from anaesthestic every morning. And they did not work. This is not self pity but a plea that there must be someone else out there who feels the same.
why try?
Written By:purplehaze
ok where to start? so far I have racked up two sets of parents (plus two extra step moms)1 biological,5 half and an adopted sibling. none of whom want to know me (at least until they want birthday or xmas pressie).
umpteen jobs, each further down the evolutionary ladder than the last (and according to recent job application responses I’m no longer considered bright enough to work a packing station let alone rub two braincells together)
I have 1 friend 30 yrs older than me (still lives with 94yr old mum)we put up with each other due to lack of other options.
I have tried several methods of getting off the planet (rope stretched, got a headache from paracetemol, and a heavy collision between motorbike and landrover(accidental, wrote off both vehicles but not even bruised))so pretty sure I’m stuck here.
oh and to cap it all both doctor and samaritans say i’m normal yeah RIGHT!
just to add insult raging acne (at 37!!) so half inch of makeup or dont leave house because i’m sick of being asked what happened to face(Too broke for makeup).
so if there are any suggestions on A) getting help when doc doesn’t believe you and B) how to quit breathing (Yes i know i wont get a publishable answer to that one)
Black hole
Written By:Bluelady65
I met my husband 4 years ago. He’d seen me in my friends holiday photos & begged for a date.She warned him off-I’d been hurt, and had taken an overdose in the past, almost a fatal one- but he persisted.
I went on the date-to shut my friend up- and made it clear afterwards friendship was all I was up for. 6 months later, decided this sweet guy was worth getting to know, so we began dating. He was always-still is according to this mates-besotted with me, and he asked me to marry him all the time.
About 6 months later-by now i’d known him a year-my friend rings and says she’s something to tell me regarding, lets call him ‘P’ for now.
She tells me he was arrested for ‘flashing’ (indecent exposure) in his early 20’s.
I confront him, he admits it, we split for a while, then I miss him like mad, text him, meet up with him, and hey presto, I give him a chance.
We end up living together after he has an accident at work, and it’s clear he has a more adventurous attitude to sex than me. After persuading me to take part in a 3 some with another girl, he then got caught out going ‘dogging’.
I was devastated, and to my shame, a friend who comforted me got a bit more than she bargained for and we had sex. Having had my ‘revenge, I returned home feeling awful, and confessed all the same night.
We talked and talked, and kind of made this pact that neither of us would ever hurt the other again by involving other people. I said if we were going to be married, this had to stop, now. He agreed to all this,we went on to get married, and (i thought) but all this behind us and then 12 days ago, he was caught out again.(the last time was 2 years ago) I confronted him, he denied, then admitted it, I asked him to move out, he did. Then he kept texting me to ask how I was, he seemed to be a bit arrogant and have an attitude that it was my fault not his, so I got mad at him & said so. After this his texts got really odd and didn’t make proper sense. He was scaring me and making me feel really bad. Friends then told me he was defintely mentally ill, and shortly after turned up at a police station, saying he’d ‘hurt’ people, and they couldnt get any sense out of him. They asked me what had happened, and he was then sectioned.
Since then I’ve been feeling really helpless and suicidal.
All his friends want me to take him back, mine think I’d be a raving loony if I did, I am so lonely and heartbroken its like physical pain and all I really want to do is curl up & die, but I have 2 kids and they need me (one of them is Autistic)Ive taken an overdose before, and was nearly successful, I took a mix of 80 paracetamol & aspirin, and was found unconscious. Ive bothered all my mates so much, and 3 of my best ones have all gone away for the weekend. I feel like im in this black hole, which is why i’ve chosen that name for the story.
Bluelady65